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Home > Resources > Case Guides > Divorce (with children)
Here are some common words from the forms, explained in simple terms:
Contested Divorce: This is a divorce where you and your spouse disagree on one or more things, like how to split property or debts, or how to handle child custody.
Uncontested Divorce: This is a divorce where you and your spouse agree on everything and can file all your final paperwork at the same time.
Petitioner: This is the person who starts the divorce process by filing the first form.
Respondent: This is the other spouse, the person who responds to the divorce petition.
Default: This happens when the respondent doesn't reply to the divorce petition by the deadline. The court can then issue a judgment without their input.
Dissolution of Marriage: This is the legal term for a divorce.
Service of Process: This is the official way of delivering court papers to the other party. It must be done by someone who is at least 18 and not involved in the case.
Summons: This is a notice that tells the respondent they have been sued and gives them a deadline to respond.
Summons Packet: This is a set of forms that gets served to the respondent. It includes the Summons, the Petition for Divorce, a Temporary Domestic Order, and a blank Domestic Relations Information Sheet.
Temporary Domestic Order: This is a temporary rule from the court that tells you and your spouse how to behave with each other, your finances, and your kids until the divorce is final.
Property: This includes everything you own, like houses, cars, furniture, bank accounts, and jewelry. The name on the title doesn't always mean that person is the sole owner.
Debt: This includes everything you owe, like loans, mortgages, credit card balances, and tax bills.
This process is similar to an uncontested divorce without children, but requires additional forms and more detail in your agreements.
Prepare all forms. You and your spouse must fill out and sign:
Petition for Dissolution of Marriage (with children)
Marital Settlement Agreement
Child Support Obligation and Order
Custody Plan and Order
Final Decree of Dissolution of Marriage (with children).
File with the court. Take all the signed documents to the court clerk to be filed.
Wait for the judge. The judge will review your documents. Be aware that the court may have additional requirements for cases with children, such as mandatory parenting classes or mediation.
This is the most complex path. It follows the same initial steps as a contested divorce without children, but will involve a longer process and more paperwork.
Prepare all forms. You must fill out and sign:
Domestic Relations Information Sheet
Petition for Dissolution of Marriage (with children)
Summons
You must fill out the court information, names, and addresses, but do not sign it yet.
File the Petition. The Petitioner files the Petition for Dissolution of Marriage (with children) and a Domestic Relations Information Sheet with the court clerk.
The Clerk will issue the Summons and return it to you.
Serve the Respondent. You must then officially deliver the paperwork (the Summons Packet) to the Respondent.
This is called "service." You can use a sheriff, a private process server, or any other adult who is not a party in the case.
Wait for a response. Once the Respondent has been served, they have a limited time to respond.
If the Respondent is served in New Mexico, they have 30 days to respond.
If they are served outside New Mexico, they have 30 days plus 7 days to respond.
Prepare for court. Because you cannot agree on everything, the court will likely schedule a hearing to address the disagreements, especially regarding child custody and support. This process often requires the advice of a lawyer due to its complexity.
Stage Two begins after the initial Petition has been filed and served. At this point, the court can issue temporary orders to help manage issues while the divorce is pending. You can also file motions to request mediation, modify existing orders, or enforce an order if the other party is not following it.
Temporary Orders
If you need the court's help with an issue on a temporary basis, you can file a Motion for Temporary Order (Form 4A-202 NMRA) for relief in the following areas:
Temporary Domestic Order: This order can provide a temporary solution for a variety of issues while the case is ongoing.
Temporary Division of Property: This helps with accessing property like a home or a vehicle.
Temporary Division of Income and Debts: If you can't agree on how to pay bills or are having trouble paying them with your income, this order can help, and can include child support.
Temporary Custody: This helps when you can't agree on important decisions for the children, such as medical treatment or schooling.
Temporary Timesharing or Visitation Schedule: This helps when you can't agree on a schedule for how much time each parent spends with the child.
Temporary Child Support and Wage Withholding: This is for when you can't agree on child support and may result in the payments being taken directly from a paycheck.
Temporary Allocation of Community Resources: This can provide money to hire an attorney if funds are available to either party.
If you have a temporary order and want to change it, you can file a Motion to Modify Temporary Order (Form 4A-203 NMRA).
Mediation
If you think you can reach an agreement with a mediator's help, you can file a motion for a referral. There are two types of mediation motions:
Motion for Referral to Mediation (Child Custody, Timesharing, or Visitation): You can file this motion (Form 4A-204 NMRA) if you believe you can reach an agreement about child custody or visitation. This does not require child support to be resolved at the same time.
Motion for Referral to Mediation (Child Support or Other Financial Issues): You can file this motion (Form 4A-205 NMRA) only after you have exchanged all financial documents required by Rule 1-123 NMRA. This motion covers matters like child support, division of income/debt, and retirement accounts.
Enforcing an Order
If the other party is not following a court order, you can file a Motion to Enforce Order (Form 4A-209 NMRA). When you complete this motion, be very specific about what the order says and what the other party is doing or not doing to violate it.
General Instructions for Filing Motions
To file a motion, you must also file a Request for Hearing (Form 4A-206 NMRA) and provide a completed Notice of Hearing (Form 4A-207 NMRA) with self-addressed, stamped envelopes for both parties. The court will send each of you a notice with the hearing date and time.
Important: Your motion cannot be heard by the court unless you have properly served a copy of it on the other party.
Stage Three is the final step in the divorce process. At this point, you are finalizing all agreements regarding finances and children, which will become legally binding when the court signs the Final Decree of Dissolution of Marriage.
Marital Settlement Agreement (MSA)
An MSA (Form 4A-301 NMRA) must be completed in every dissolution case. This is where you and the other party will settle financial matters, including:
Division of property and debts: This includes personal items, real estate, bank accounts, and debts like credit cards and loans.
Cash payments: Any one-time payments from one party to the other to balance the division of assets.
Spousal support: Any agreed-upon monthly payments from one party to the other.
If you cannot agree on the terms of the MSA, you can request a hearing for a judge to make the decisions for you.
Custody Plan and Order
If you have children under 18 (or 19 and still in high school), you must complete a Custody Plan and Order (Form 4A-302 NMRA). This document details how you will make decisions for your children, including who will have custody and how a parenting plan will be shared.
If you and the other party cannot agree on these terms, you can seek mediation or request a hearing for the judge to decide.
Child Support Obligation and Order
You must also complete a Child Support Obligation and Order (Form 4A-303 NMRA) if you have minor children. This form outlines how you will divide the expenses of raising the children, including child support and health insurance. You will need to complete a child support worksheet to calculate the amount required by law.
Paths to a Final Decree
There are three main ways you can get a Final Decree of Dissolution of Marriage:
Uncontested: If you and the other party agree on the terms of the MSA, Custody Plan, and Child Support Obligation, you can file the completed forms with the court and submit a Final Decree for the judge's approval. The court may sign the decree without a hearing, and your divorce will be final.
Contested: If you and the other party still do not agree on the terms, you can request a trial by submitting a Request for Hearing (Form 4A-206 NMRA). The court will set a hearing to resolve the remaining disagreements. You will need to bring your own proposed MSA and Final Decree to the hearing.
Default: If more than 30 days have passed since the initial paperwork was served, and the other party has not responded, you may be able to request a default judgment. This means the court could grant the Final Decree without the other party's participation.
Conclusion
Once a Final Decree is signed and filed by the court, the agreements become a legally binding court order.